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Stop "Shoulding" on Yourself!

Updated: Oct 6, 2022

Should: used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions.

Do you find yourself always saying things like "I should really exercise more," or "I shouldn't have eaten that second slice of cake?" If so, you're not alone. In fact, many people are guilty of shoulding on themselves. But what exactly does that mean?

Shoulding on yourself means that you are constantly putting pressure on yourself to do things that you think you should be doing. It's a form of self-judgment that leads to feelings of guilt and inadequacy. And it's something that you need to stop doing if you want to live a happy and healthy life.

3 Ways to Stop Shoulding on Yourself

1. Recognize when you're doing it.

The first step to stopping shoulding on yourself is recognizing when you're doing it. This can be tricky because, often times, we're not even aware that we're doing it! But, with a little bit of practice, you'll start to notice that little voice in your head that's always telling you what you "should" be doing.

2. Challenge your assumptions.

Once you've started to recognize when you're shoulding on yourself, the next step is to challenge your assumptions. Why are you telling yourself that you should do something? Is it really necessary? Or is it just something that would be nice to do? For example, maybe you tell yourself that you should go for a run every day. But is it really necessary? Maybe it would be nicer if you went for a walk instead.

3. Give yourself some grace.

Finally, cut yourself some slack! We all make mistakes and no one is perfect. So, instead of berating yourself for not doing something perfectly, give yourself some grace and try again tomorrow. Remember, progress not perfection!

If you find yourself constantly shoulding on yourself, don't worry—you're not alone! Many people are guilty of this detrimental behavior. But the good news is that there are ways to stop! By recognizing when you're shoulding on yourself, challenging your assumptions, and giving yourself some grace, you can break the cycle of self-judgment and start living a happier and healthier life today!

Sometimes we need added support when facing challenges in our lives. Our coaches at Life and Legacy Coaching have skills and tools that can help you overcome these obstacles. Book a free consultation and let's Redefine Your Life and Legacy.

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